Estimated read time: 4-5 minutes
- Bret Carl Lindeman, convicted of murdering his estranged wife Shara Dawn Hardison in 1999, is seeking parole 25 years after the brutal crime.
- During a parole hearing on Tuesday, Lindeman, who pleaded guilty to a reduced murder charge in 2000, expressed remorse and cited his struggles with depression and anxiety prior to the incident.
- The parole board heard emotional testimonies from Hardison's parents, who opposed his release, while the board also acknowledged Lindeman's positive behavior in prison.
SALT LAKE CITY — An Ogden man convicted of brutally killing his estranged wife 25 years ago is seeking parole.
Bret Carl Lindeman was originally charged with aggravated murder for the Oct. 5, 1999, killing of 20-year-old Shara Dawn Hardison. Prosecutors say Lindeman stabbed Hardison more than 50 times, and at one point grabbed a second knife when the blade of the first knife broke.
On Nov. 14, 2000, Lindeman pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of murder and was sentenced to 5 years and up to life in the Utah State Prison. His first parole hearing, which was scheduled many years ago, was held Tuesday.
Hardison had filed for divorce from Lindeman three months before her death. During his hearing on Monday before a member of the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole, Lindeman, now 49, described how he became panicked, anxious and depressed during the summer he was separated from Hardison. He said it was "not a healthy situation" that "I did not deal with well," and ultimately he made "a long list of bad choices." Additionally, he said the medications he was taking for his depression had run out a day or two before the murder.
Prior to killing Hardison, Lindeman says he met with her for coffee.
"I was under the impression we were trying to reconcile differences," he told the board. "All I could do was just reminisce about past experiences, and wishing for things that just eluded me at the time."
Lindeman said all he could think about was how to reconcile with his estranged wife and "couldn't grasp that I couldn't fix what was happening." And when his plans to meet up with Hardison later that evening after coffee fell through, he says he went into a state of panic. Lindeman says he became intoxicated to the point he shouldn't have been driving but went to Hardison's Washington Terrace apartment where they argued.
At that point, he says he can't explain or even fully remember how the argument became so violent.
"It was like I was outside of myself watching the events unfold and felt powerless to intervene," Lindeman said. "My state at the time was not rational thought."
Lindeman told the board he drove away from the apartment hoping that Hardison would live and that he would die. He drove back to his apartment where he told his roommates he had done a terrible thing and then left again. An hour later, he was speeding along Washington Boulevard, crashing into objects along the west side of the street before crashing his car at speeds of nearly 100 mph into the David Eccles Conference Center at 24th Street and Washington Boulevard.
Lindeman's roommates contacted Hardison's parents who contacted police and drove to her apartment where the horrific discovery was made.
Prior to the start of Monday's hearing, board member Greg Johnson, who conducted the hearing, noted that there were people in the audience attending in support of Lindeman, and family and friends of Hardison who were opposed to his release. The board has also received several letters both in support and against Lindeman.
Roy and Deborah Hardison, Shara's parents, both spoke at Tuesday's hearing and asked the board not to grant parole.
"He completely shattered my family," Deborah Hardison said while reading from a letter she submitted to the board. "The ripple effect goes far and wide. ... If he is released, how could I ever have peace of mind?"
Hardison said Lindeman made a choice to kill her daughter that night and "with his choice, he does not deserve freedom."
Two of Hardison's friends also addressed the board, recalling how she was "butchered by a monster" and saying he has never shown remorse for his actions.
When asked for his response to their comments, Lindeman, in a soft voice, said, "I'm sorry. I can't fix or undo what I did. But it was never my intent to destroy the lives in the manner that I have."
Lindeman acknowledged that no matter what the board decides, there will never be a "fair outcome."
"It has been painful for the last 25 years but nowhere near the level of the pain that I've caused her family and friends. And for that, I am truly sorry. I understand that my actions have put a lot of fear in the community," he said.
Lindeman noted how he still dealt with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts when he first arrived at prison. But he says he knew he had a choice when entering prison to either continue down his same destructive path or make changes so that "at least I could be a civil member of some society," whether that meant in the corrections system or if he is ever released.
Johnson noted that in 25 years, Lindeman does not have any serious disciplinary violations and, in fact, his record while in prison has been very good. Lindeman says his anxiousness and depression never go away, he has just learned how to manage it better.
"It's hard for me to feel good about all the things I've tried to do and who I've become, knowing what I did," he said.
The full five-member board will now vote on whether to set a release date, a new parole hearing or order Lindeman to serve out his entire life sentence.
