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It's one thing to "choose" not to go to church, but it's quite another to go, then leave after just minutes, because you can't handle the crowd. It's a real disease called social anxiety. Dani Israelson hopes that being open about her ongoing struggle with the disorder will help others who've given up hope.
"I never had a problem with social anxiety till I was on my mission. Before that, I just had spurts of depression and anxiety," Israelson said. "When I was in high school and into my first few years of college, I was like a loud-mouth,super obnoxious, but like I was always the center of attention.I always had a zillion friends.
Dani said she thought being emotion was just part of being a girl and so she didn't seek help. She was called to serve a mission in Jamaica and that's when her social anxiety really started to manifest itself.
"In the MTC, I'd get scared to get up in front of the class, or when we would practice teaching lessons to each other, I'd get really nervous," she said.
The problem worsened in her first area. She started shaking really bad while studying and breathing really quickly and started crying uncontrollably. She was relocated to St. George, Utah here she saw a counselor and got medication
"Like a lot of people said to me, just pray, have faith and it will go away. It wasn't a matter of faith, like I had plenty of faith," Israelson said. "It was just so hard for me to understand why that happened, especially when I was being so faithful and trying so hard to do what Heavenly Father wanted me to do."
Dani returned home after three-months, first telling people she was "sick." Then she opened up. "From the pulpit, I said I had depression and anxiety, and that's why I came home from my mission. And I talked about how much of a struggle it was for me and how difficult and so many people came up to me afterwards and said, I have been struggling with this for years," Israelson said.
She said after she came home from her mission should couldn't be at church because of her social anxiety. Sitting in a Sunday School class of 30 or a congregation of 300 is too overwhelming for her. It would cause her to have a panic attack.
"For awhile, I just had to be OK with if I make it thru 15-minutes of church, that's great," Israelson said. "Everyone deals with something and that's just what I was given. I had to be okay with bipolar, and I had to learn how to deal with social anxiety. And I just had to learn how to deal with it and adjust my life."
