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SALT LAKE CITY — At the start of each year, we sat as a family of 12 around the dining room table and each of us filled out a “goal sheet.” At the top of the goal sheet we listed our name, height, weight and school grade.
Five columns ran down the left side of the sheet and were labeled physical, spiritual, mental, financial and social. Each of us, including our parents, wrote goals we wanted to accomplish during the coming year in the appropriate column.
At the end of each year, on a Monday night, we had our “goal party”. This was something we looked forward to all year.
A typical goal party agenda
During the goal parties we highlighted one category at a time and went around the table, each of us telling what goals we had written down. If we had accomplished the goal, everybody would cheer; if we hadn’t, everybody dramatically yelled “boooo!”
We were especially good at booing when it came to Mom's and Dad’s goals. We jokingly yelled “boo” anytime Mom or Dad had some type of goal having to do with being a better parent.
Candy was a rarity in our home and therefore was the best part of our goal parties. Mom kept the candy next to her on the floor. As each of us reported our accomplishments, she pulled out a bag of candy and tossed pieces of candy equal to the number of goals met.
Each category received a different type of candy, so by the end of the night we each had accumulated quite the stash.
These nights were a blast and full of good memories. We congratulated each other when one of us accomplished a particularly big goal that had been worked on throughout the year. At the same time, we called for proof when someone said they had accomplished something that was doubtful to the rest of us.
The most memorable goal party ever
One particular goal party stands out in my mind. I was away at college, and Mom called asking if I could come home for the weekend so I could attend the goal party. I laughed because I was 20 years old at the time. My little brother, Jordan, was 18 and the only one still living at home. But because I had such great memories of our goal parties, I agreed.
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How pursuing your own dreams can help your children
Dreams we had before we became mothers don't die, they are still a part of who we are. When you follow a dream you are a great example for your children of goal setting and hard work.That Monday I showed up and Mom seemed a bit surprised that I was home, until she remembered why I’d come.
Dad, Mom, Jordan and I went outside and sat on a big blanket in the front yard. Mom pulled out the previous year’s goal sheets for each one of us. As I stated my accomplishments under the first category, Mom cheered loudly while she threw me five chocolate chips — one for each of my five goals accomplished.
I looked down at the chocolate chips disapprovingly, “Chocolate chips? Are you serious? That’s quite the let down,” I said.
She told me to be quiet as it was now Jordan’s turn. After he read his accomplished goals I gave a sarcastic and half-hearted “yeah.” Mom threw him four chocolate chips.
Jordan and I eyed each other, both of us confused.
As I read my accomplishments in the next category, Mom reached into her sack and pulled out three raisins and tossed them to me.
“Did you steal these from the nursery at church?” I jokingly asked.
Jordan joined in. “This is lame. You got old and aren’t cool anymore,” he said.
Mom ignored us, so I hesitantly read the next group of goals, not sure that I wanted whatever makeshift “treat” she’d pull out of her bag.
After I finished, Mom pulled out three differently colored round discs that looked like Smarties candy, only bigger. When I inspected each of them closely, I suddenly yelled, “Are you kidding me, Mom? Are these Tums?!?”
“What the crap?” Jordan said laughing.
Mom was caught. “I’m so sorry you guys," she said. "I totally forgot it was the party tonight and I didn’t get any treats.”
“You think? I’m so glad I drove an hour for five chocolate chips.” I said. “What’d you do, look under the couch cushions?”
By this time everyone was laughing.
We continued with each of the remaining categories, but now we were anxious to see what Mom would pull out of the bag. Pennies were the reward for the next category, and peanuts for the last.
Mom apologized again, and then she pulled out two $20 dollar bills and gave one to Jordan and one to me. We were thrilled.
Mom said how impressed she was with both of us and all we had accomplished. She told us we were great kids and she was proud of who we had become.
Not only was it one of the best goal parties I had attended, but its one of the best memories I have.
On the drive back to school, I thought how one day I would continue this tradition with my own kids. I ate my five chocolate chips, two peanuts and three raisins. I chuckled as I thought, I hope I can eat all of this without getting sick.
Luckily I didn’t need to worry about that. I had three Tums just in case.
Kate Lee is a Utah native and mother of three. You can read more of her writing at www.momentsofchunder.blogspot.comContact her at momentsofchunder@gmail.com.
